Sexual Assault, Rape: HOL’ (hold) YOUR SIDE: A lady’s guide to protecting herself

From a female perspective her is how to avoid sexual assault and rape.

Sexual assault and rape are burning hot topics in our society right now.

From timelines to real-life discussions, Nigerians are speaking up about rape and sexual assault culture. There has always been a culture of silence around these topics but now young Nigerians are speaking.

For men out there, no is no. I recently reached out to a young woman who has written about how women can protect themselves from sexual assault.

You can read her article below;

Disclaimer: Before reading this article, I would like to explicitly mention that it is a man’s responsibility as a decent human being, at least, to control his urges and sexual desire. No matter how attractive or exposed a woman is, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TOUCH HER IF SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU TO TOUCH HER….simple

Step 1: Watch Your Language.

Language is an essential means of communication, orally and physically. Don’t tell, or text, a guy sexual things if you know you’re not going to follow up with it when the time comes.  Don’t lead him on. Don’t let him think he’s “getting some” when you are not down for that. Avoid doing things that will make him think you want it too.

Step 2: Relay your intentions early.

When you meet a guy, you might not know if you want to be sexually involved with him yet, which is totally fine. Let him know. Tell him that you don’t think you want to “get down” yet. You don’t owe him a reason or an explanation afterwards but communicate your intentions. He likely won’t put pressure on you when you’re straight from the onset.

And sis, if you want to sleep with the guy, tell him…and save your strength for something better.

Step 3: Be assertive

Nobody has the right to force you to do anything against your will. While I must say that there is no level to assault, something as terrible as rape starts with things like awkward stares, sexual side comments, unnecessary touching, etc. It is imperative that you call out a man when he starts saying or doing things you are uncomfortable with.

Don’t give a passive, low-toned “stooooop”. Don’t ask “what are you doing” with a little smile on your face.

Be bold, be confident, be firm with your “STOP”; with your “Leave me alone”; with your “I will slap you if you ever try that again”.

Finally, I cannot write this article without mentioning the society’s response to sexual assault. If you witness or suspect an assault, please step in such a situation. Rescue the victim. Say something. Call out the predator. Get help if you can’t take charge of the situation alone.

Saying “It’s not my business” makes you an accomplice. In fact, it is your business because your sister or daughter may be next in line.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor – Desmond Tutu