Doguwa…Powerful everywhere (1)

By Korede Yishau

 

There are times I look around my country, our dear Nigeria, and I conclude that God loves us so much and, in his wisdom, keeps blessing us with men of insight as leaders.

We had Gen. Sani Abacha, whose death saved the country from becoming a theatre of war. We had Gen. Ibrahim Babangida, who annulled the free and fair June 12, 1993 presidential election.

There are many more in the democratic dispensation who have shown God’s love for this great nation in their way. From the Executive to the judiciary and the legislature, we have them in multitudes.

One of these great sons of Nigeria is currently the man after my heart. Though not a Christian, he takes to heart the Biblical injunction of ‘go ye and multiply’.

What better way to preach religious tolerance other than this! To his like we will hold our projected status of being the third most populated country after China and India.

The U.S. and the rest will be trailing us. Forget the fact that we hold the ace when it comes to being home to millions of people who cannot afford decent meals.

We are already the most populous African nation and on the seventh rank in the world. If our population of 200 million people continue to grow at the current rate of 3.2 per cent per year, we will have the third-largest population worldwide with 411 million people by 2050.

Let us bow with all our strength and might for the man who is leading the race for us to meet this projection. He is ex-Chief Whip of the House of Representatives, now House Leader, Alhassan Ado Doguwa.

This first-class graduate from the Bayero University Kano (BUK) has 27 children from four wives and he is still counting. More wives and children may be on the way.

Praise God somebody! I am just reminded that as a Muslim, he is only entitled to four wives. So it is more children that we should look out for, and that is what we need to attain the status of the third most populous nation on earth. Each of the four wives can have ten kids, taking the total to 40. Wow!

Doguwa is so proud of his four wives that the other day he took the four of them to the floor of the House and got them to stand up for recognition.

Read Also: Gbajabiamila swears in Doguwa as House Leader

Beautiful women who adore their man and do as he says! You need to see the alacrity with which they were standing up as he was ordering them to stand up for recognition.

They waved at their beloved husband’s colleagues and took their seats. They beamed with smiles as the House erupted in shouts and laughter.

His eloquence is admirable and it kept making his colleagues erupt (though I suspect many of them were being mischievous).

“Mr Speaker, he began, “I will let you know that with me today here are my four respectable wife (sic). Alim, stand up please, one. Umma, stand up. Binta should stand up… Mr Speaker, honourable members, I asked them to stand here to respect the House on behalf of my family and another reason is to let you know that when members call me a powerful man, I am not only powerful on the floor of the House, I am also powerful at home. These four wives, Mr Speaker, what I meant by asking them to rise up (sic) is to demonstrate to members of the House that when you call me a powerful parliamentarian, I am not only powerful on the floor, I am also powerful at home. I deal with four wives.

These four wives you are seeing, these four wives you are seeing, Mr Speaker, have produced 27 children for me. These four wives you are seeing have produced 27 kids for me and I am still counting, I am still counting.”

Speaker Femi Gbajabiamila was so impressed that he jogged Doguwa’s memory— despite the House Leader’s protest— that he once confided in him that it took one of his sons to remind him he was his father.

That day Doguwa had seen some eight kids playing late in front of his house and he ordered them to go home, only for one of them to ask: “But baba, this is my house”.

Doguwa is a man with uncommon confidence. As he was speaking that day on the floor of the House, some female colleagues of his, especially from the South, looked stunned.

They obviously cannot process how in this modern world one man has four wives and 27 children and is still counting. They probably also had, at the back of their mind, the claim by Emir Sanusi that polygamy was the problem of the North, where Doguwa comes from.

Let me with immediate alacrity explain here that Emir Sanusi must have had poor people in mind when he made that statement. Not people in his class like Doguwa.

There is money, plenty of it, to take care of the kids. So, go ye and keep multiplying. It matters not if you cannot recognise all the children. Once you can recognise their mothers, the mothers will identify their children or the children can do that for themselves.

You are too busy making money to take good care of them to be bothered about what each child looks like. Poor people are the ones breeding almajiris. Not the rich.

Importantly too is the fact that the essence of having fewer children is to spend less income on immediate survival needs of food, housing, clothing and education.

Doguwa does not need to worry about such an income-saving measure. Money dey yafunyafun. Great men like Dogunwa also need not disturb their brains remembering their kids’ birthdays, not to talk of disturbing themselves with going out on a picnic or vacation with them.

Those niceties are for Caucasians. All that matters is to keep giving their mothers money for their upkeep and to impregnate the mothers to help Nigeria attain that enviable status that beckons. After all, the huge population is an asset for investors. Ask MTN if in doubt.

 

• To be continued next week…