Flop Of The Week: Buhari and Atiku should cop their trekking L

Nigerian political stalwarts make a mockery of themselves over increasing their approval ratings and millennial appeal

On Tuesday, August 21, 2018, returnee Nigerian Leader, President Muhammadu Buhari (A.K.A Bubu) trekked for 800 metres from Eid ground to his home in Daura, Katsina State for a jubilant audience, warmed by their “humble” Leader.

It was really an L

Just when we thought the Nigerian trekking episode for protests was over, it turns out we have only just started ‘from the top’ like a symphony orchestra — our President as the conductor, holding his wand and controlling reactions while working hard.

It was an unnecessary spectacle. While this might be have deceived the average Nigerian into believing Buhari as a humble man, so interested in walking with his people, it was really unnecessary.

How convenient that he’s only chosen to do so while close to election season, when approval ratings are low and he needs them high? Why do so on possibly the biggest celebration in the annual Islamic calendar?

As if that wasn’t enough, Buhari’s Senior Special Assistant on Media and Publicity, Garba Shehu said the trek was testament to the President’s fitness to seek reelection.

Abeg, where’s the correlation between exercise and election. How are Egbon Taju in Ikoro-Ekiti and Madame Genevieve in Paris related?

Since Shehu could find the correlation, he might finally be able to help us find that elusive ‘x’ in math questions.

It was corny and quite simply another unwanted feather in his cap. Sadly, it would have worked in his favour.

The Atiku Reply

What a shame. Former Vice President, and perennial allegiance switch master, Atiku Abubakar peed the bed on a grand scale, trying to jump on the wave.

 

Admittedly, his PR team and social media guys were doing a splendid work before this debacle. It was near unthinkable that Buhari’s era of corny masterclass could be outdone. Enter Atiku…

Right after Garba Shehu’s eagle eye correlation, Mr. Atiku intimated that he exercises better than the President. Excuse me, did we miss something? Is it a competition between two men now?

As if, Shehu’s ‘masterful correlation’ comments were not cringeworthy enough, Atiku’s Twitter dropped a post that, “I regularly jog more than a mile and exercise, but it will be pedestrian of me to ask Nigerians to vote for me because of that.”

He then ended it with a line of rhymes to make Vic-o proud, “I want my party — the PDP and Nigerians to vote for me because because I WORK, not because I WALK. I will create jobs. I won’t walk to create an illusion.”

Whoever manages his campaign or endorsed that for release should carry an ‘L’ on his outfits for the rest of next week.

As far as trying too hard goes, this is the height of it. It was not only corny, it was unnecessary. While campaigns sometimes delve into pettiness, this was a terribly forced attempt at one.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s all over.